 The Crooked Mile
A musical in two acts by Peter Wildeblood; based on his book West End People. Music by Peter Greenwell. Produced at
the Opera House, Manchester under the management of Players'
Ventures 11 August, 1959 for two weeks and played at Liverpool
Empire 2 weeks to 5 September. Opened at the Cambridge Theatre
10 September, 1959 for a run of 164 performances closing 30
January, 1960.
Synopsis
The curtain rises on Sweet Ginger's ironmongery shop in Soho
where Jug Ears Jones and his gang are lamenting the untimely
death of Gorganzola Joe. Learning that Joe has left an orphan
child, Luigi, in Naples, they decide to bring him to London and
adopt him. Sweet Ginger, the coloured ironmongeress who has been
Jug Ears' girl friend for the last sixteen years, is ready to
adopt the boy but realises that in order to do so she must first
acquire an honest husband, since Jug Ears is disqualified by
his criminal record. There is also the problem of raising the
fare from Naples, and in song the gangsters make various suggestions
for doing this. Jug Ears decides that they should hold a lottery,
with a car - "you pick it,
we'll nick it" - as the first prize.
Cora, a freelance street-girl, comes into the shop to escape the
unwelcome attentions of the police, and Sweet Ginger tells her of
her plans for the future. They are interrupted by the entrance of
Mortiss Garrity, an American businessman whose family owns a coast-to-coast
chain of self-service stores, and who plans to open a similar one
in Soho. He explains this enthusiastically to Sweet Ginger and when
he leaves she realises he is just the kind of man to make a suitable
adoptive father for little Luigi.
Jug Ears' lottery, like most of his schemes, ends in failure,
and he is publicly humiliated by a rival gangleader, The Carver.
Cora, meanwhile, is indulging her passion for horticulture by spending
all her earnings on garden tools and plants, which Sweet Ginger
agrees to keep for her until the time when she retires.
The friendship between Sweet Ginger and Mortiss develops in spite
of the difference in outlook and when the unsuccessful Jug Ears
returns to the shop he gets a cold welcome from Sweet Ginger, who
tells him that many men would be glad to have their freedom. Jug
Ears tells her that as an ex-convict he alone knows the meaning
of the word free. Sweet Ginger relents enough to agree not to leave
until the baby arrives.
The only one to have any success in the sale of lottery tickets
is Mortiss, and Jug Ears decides to award him first prize. Mortiss
wants a bubble car, and the gang unfortunately pick on one belonging
to Cora. Their leader, unable to raise money in any other way, goes
off with his pride in his pocket to beg a loan - unsuccessfully
- from The Carver.
The rest of the gang, dressed as buskers, join in the Street Scene
of an open-air market. While looking for Jug Ears, Sweet Ginger
meets Cora, who unromantically advises her to test Mortiss' intentions
by inviting him to meet the family. They are interrupted by the
entrance of Mortiss driving Cora's bubble car. Happy to be on the
right side of the law for once, she has him arrested.
Sweet Ginger blames this development on Jug Ears, and taunts him
with his inability to earn an honest penny. He borrows a barrel
organ from a blind man and, undaunted by the contemptuous threats
of The Carver, stands in the street asking the passers-by to spare
a penny in order to raise the money for Luigi's fare.
During the week-end Sweet Ginger waits for news of Jug Ears,
and in spite of threats from The Carver decides to see Jug Ears "right
through to the end". On learning that for once he has made
a success of something - playing the barrel organ at a debutantes'
party - she transfers her attention from him to Mortiss, who
is about to appear in Court charged with theft. The Court is
already crowded with street-girls. waiting to pay their fines
and comforting themselves with the thought that other people's
sins are more reprehensible than their own. Presently news is
brought that The Carver has exploded a bomb in Sweet Ginger's
shop and wrecked it. Sweet Ginger is horrified to think what
may have happened to Jug Ears, but Cora is even more incensed
by the thought of losing all the garden equipment which Sweet
Ginger has been keeping for her. This gang warfare, she says,
is becoming a serious hindrance to trade, and she leads the street-girls
out on strike.
At the wrecked ironmongery shop Sweet Ginger remembers Jug Ears'
words about being free. When Mortiss appears, the charge against
him having been dropped by Cora who now has more important things
to think about, she tells him that she is now ready to make a fresh
start. But she cannot bring herself to leave Jug Ears, and breaks
it to Mortiss that she cannot even consider marrying him and going
off to Kansas. This comes as a surprise to Mortiss, and suddenly
realising that she has built up a dream world around herself he
tells her that she must come down to earth and stop being so romantic.
When Jug Ears returns, unscathed by The Carver's bomb, Sweet Ginger
knows that their future should be together - but there is still
the obstacle of Luigi. When he arrives, however, he turns out to
be no baby, but a full-grown Italian policeman - a fact which finally
decides Jug Ears to pursue the path of virtue in future rather than
the Crooked Mile.
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