 GOODTIME CHARLEY
Book by Sidney Michaels: Music by Larry Grossman: Lyrics by Hal Hackady
Palace Theatre, Broadway - May 31, 1975 (104 perfs)
Synopsis
(Reprinted from the 1975 album)
ACT I Overture
Prologue: March 6, 1429. The Hundred Years War
is in its 92nd year and heading for all sorts of long-run records. Charles
Valois is dreaming about things close to him: kings and queens, cousins
and courtiers, estate and castles, treaties and inheritances. It's a nightmare.
In his imaginings he sees the interior of a cathedral. Statues of history
line the niches. When they come to life and start talking to each other,
intrigue begins to sound like an everyday activity and who-does-what-to-whom
as tasty as any fanciful French pastry. King Henry V of England has crossed
the Channel to conquer France. He tells Mad King Charles VI of France
he'd be "crazy to resist… Charles VI has qualified for craziness
honours easily - he married Queen Isabella of Bavaria.
When Isabella's daughter, Queen Kate gossips about the
upcoming battle at Agincourt, Isabella figures she can negotiate that
outing into a nice, clean, underhanded you take-this-and-he'll get-that-and-l'll-get-mine-because-I-was-in
Troyes-before-you treaty. The problem is she has left Charley, her bastard
son, out of the dividends. Pushed around Charley, who is also Kate's brother,
Phillip of Burgundy's nephew. Marie's husband (she'd married the Dauphin
when he was five years old), Queen Yolande of Sicily's son-in-law. However,
the then Pope Yolande's cousin, comes out for Charley's claim to the throne.
They all argue, threaten. But Isabella has an answer: Get an archbishop
and a general to control Charley, and everyone will be cut in.
When Charley wakes from his usual 14-hour sleep, he tells
the Archbishop about the dream. "My father went mad, my sister married
my worst enemy, my uncle swore to destroy me and my mother declared me
a bastard." He also realise the nightmare was all true and he's the only
man in France with "an archbishop for a nanny."
The General comes in and informs Charley that "still
another teen-age milkmaid who thinks she's seen God" is waiting downstairs
in the Great Hall. Charley wonders when the "Merlin the Magician" nursery
rhyme will come true. In any case, he hopes he'll never have to be king
with all those responsibilities. He daydreams of his fondest wish, merely
to be a "Good time Charley".
In the Great Hall Charley runs into Agnes Sorel who's
slept with almost every man in France except him. She's been holding him
off until he does something noble for France.
The Archbishop reminds Charley that he's come down to
test the maid Joan about her claimed divine guidance. They give her the
"Pick-out-the-Dauphin" test, a game of hide-and-seek. Charley is the last
person anyone would pick out as a prince. Dressed in rags, he gets lost
in the palace crowd; the girl must point him out with help only from her
saints. Everyone who's tried before has failed.
When Joan picks out the Dauphin, all the sceptics are
impressed except the Archbishop and the General. Charley's got to come
up with a stiffer test. "Tell me my last birthday wish," he says. Joan
remarks offhandedly that it was probably, "Please, God, don't let me have
to be king" - and she's hit it right, by accident. Joan is all of 17,
yet when she asks for an army to lead to lift the siege of Orléans,
conquer all the castles of the Loire and go on from there, Charley says,
"Give her the army."
That night Minguet, the oldest page in all of Europe,
takes Joan to the Dauphin's study. Charley has romance on his mind. All
Joan has on hers is a horse, a sword and a suit of armour. Though Charley
has great qualms about her abilities to lead an army, he says okay to
the horse and armour. He has a suit of his own that has never even been
unpacked. It's been shipped to him like a put-it-together-yourself toy
kit, complete with a scroll of "simple" directions. He offers it to Joan,
but she insists that he try it on to see how he will look when he is crowned
king of France.
Joan still needs a sword. It's too dangerous Charley
thinks - a person could get killed. He then reasons she's as out of her
mind as was his father, so at least deserves Dad's sword. He gives it
to her and sends her off to Orléans.
When Agnes walks in on the conversation and hears this,
she gratefully says, "You gave her the army. Oh, my Prince! I'm here.
I'm yours." Joan and Minguet are left alone. He tells her about the Dauphin's
growing pains, and she wonders about them.
At last Charley gets Agnes. She's very complimentary
about his bedroom talent; he concedes she is right about that. But now
they worry about Joan and what he did to her, sending her off to play
"war" - and about people and their passion for violence. He thinks perhaps
a note to his Uncle Phillip will get that ogre to call off the siege.
He dictates a letter to Agnes.
Three weeks later the Archbishop and the General are
in a turmoil: Joan is doing all she said she would - running the army,
winning the battle of Orléans, scattering the English. Her successes
are driving them wild. Charley, ecstatic about her accomplishments, has
ordered the castle policed and polished for her victorious return - even
orders solid gold armour for his guards. Then he learns about Joan's plans
to chase the English out of France. If she keeps winning he'll wind up
having to be king and having to accept the awesome weight of responsibility.
That's a bit much for Charley - especially when he is told she plans to
take Paris, too (where Isabella lives). He will have to face up to his
mother unless he calls Joan off immediately. But how?
The Archbishop and the General tell Charley that someone
who really knows how to handle a woman must be found to wine, dine and
woo Joan. He talks about how he dazzled Agnes, made her forget her days
and nights and days and nights with an unending list of other men. When
the Archbishop and the General brush aside the bragging and offer instructions
about love, Charley tells them, "Leave it to me. Romance happens to be
my forte."
Charley and Joan meet in a romantic grove near Chinon
Castle. He is ready, but she fends off his suggestions in the gentlest
way.
Joan is off on an unbroken string of conquests of the
castles of the Loire - Jargeau, Meung, Beaugency, Patay, then the city
of Troyes, finally Reims. Charley wanted to call her off in the middle
of them. She would not stop.
Now the interior of Reims Cathedral is crowded for Charley's
coronation. There's been no time for rehearsal, and things are confused.
Joan announces she's marching on Paris in the morning. Charley will have
none of it. It's his army. He is the king. He wants the war over. He wants
peace.
Joan will go on, she says, until France is entirely free,
though she hasn't heard from her "voices" in some time - and doesn't know
why. But she has made some strong political demands, including a bit of
nepotism - commissions for her brothers, nobility for her parents, tax
exemptions, etc. She would even like down-town Orléans put in her
name. It doesn't sound at all saintly to Charley - she's acting like all
other human beings.
At last the coronation ceremony. Everyone kneels except
Joan. Charley is furious at her obstinacy, as she stands, unmoved while
the Dauphin is crowned King of France.
ACT II
Charley and Joan are on a tour of the provinces. He is
trying to effect reconciliation with his family. He has even got Joan
out of armour and into a dress - it's part of his plan to convince everyone
she's just a simple shepherdess.
Joan has quietened down somewhat - she lost her first
battle when she marched against Paris. Charley tries to introduce her
to all his relatives, sending Minguet to say Joan is no longer a threat.
They send back their own descriptions of her - "whore, witch, murderer,
liar." His attempts to calm everyone fail when Joan threatens more battles
if "the villains and bullies who've been raping France for 100 years don't
stop!"
Charley tells Joan things must change, he's confining
her to Chinon. But Joan says her "voices" have suddenly returned to tell
her Phillip will break the truce and attack Compiègne in the spring.
"Enough!" Charley commands. "I demand obedience. I am the king." "I will
listen to no one except my voices," Joan shouts.
It's spring. Minguet, now a squire, and Agnes are in
the courtyard at Chinon. There's been much discontent over the winter.
Charley and Joan aren't speaking - not a single word between them for
months. Minguet is confident they'll be together soon. He foresees an
event that might do it - a certain catastrophe. They decide they should
be grateful for small blessings.
The catastrophe comes: the Duke of Burgundy does break
the truce, attacks Compiègne. And it does bring Charley and Joan
together, on the banks of the Vienne, near Chinon.
Compiègne is expected to fall in a week. Joan's
"voices" have warned her not to enter the battle. She'll be captured if
she does. She wants Charley to act like a king and go. They argue. The
dangers to Compiègne become more certain. Finally Joan says she
must go. If she is captured, Charley can come and rescue her. He swears
to heaven they are "the strangest pair that ever had to do with each other
in all of history, with nothing in common." Joan says they have one thing
in common, "Love of France." And she rides off to battle.
A few days later the Archbishop and the General are in
a confessional booth. Joan has been captured; they are responsible. Her
trial starts the next day. They've promised Charley to get her off.
Joan is in a prison cell, in Rouen, tried and condemned
for witchery and other assorted misdeeds. But Charley has done nothing
yet to save her. It is May 30, 1431. However, Charley is trying
to do something. He and Minguet are tented outside the walls of Rouen.
There aren't enough troops, though, to break into the city. Charley has
another plan, and Agnes, in a nun's outfit, has visited the prison to
see Joan to carry it out.
The plan is simple. Joan will sign a confession, admit
temporary insanity, swear there are no "voices," and Church law will remand
the death penalty. Then, after six months of imprisonment, Charley will
buy her release. Not wishing to die, Joan signs the paper for Agnes, who
gives it to a guard as she leaves.
Now Joan has second thoughts about that piece of paper
- she went against her "voices" at Compiègne, and had been captured
as they had warned her, and now she is defying them again with this false
confession. She sees Charley's game, his plan to pay all of France for
her and have nothing to rule over. It's more than she will do. Charley
will just have to be king of France. She takes the paper from the guard
and rips it up.
Three weeks later the Great Hall is filled with people
including Charley's relatives. Joan has been burned at the stake. Thousands
saw it. The Archbishop, however, is trying to convince Charley that she
has come back to life, that there has been a miraculous resurrection and
Joan can help write the truce with Phillip. A girl enters. She looks exactly
like Joan. Charley begs her forgiveness for not trying to save her. But
it is all just another piece of intrigue. The girl is a fake, who has
been put up to the hoax by the Archbishop, the General and Charley's relatives.
The king orders the impostor be released and all his enemies arrested
on the spot. When the guards hesitate, Charley grabs a knife, kills the
Archbishop and the General as his relatives flee. It has finally happened
- Charley has acted like a king and at last is prepared to rule all of
France.
Epilogue: 32 years later, February 28, 1461.
The Great Hall is crowded, Charley is on his throne. A courtier has just
announced: "Ladies and gentlemen. I give you King Charles, who was well
served by the blessed Joan of Arc. I give you King Charles, who unified
and created a French nation single-handed. I give you King Charles, my
friends, who rode into battle at the head of his troops, took Rouen and
reconvened the trial that vindicated the virgin martyr of Lorraine. I
give you King Charles, who is 58 years old this day. I give you King Charles
VII of France."
When the throng leaves, Charley reflects and daydreams.
He sees the cathedral wall of his earlier nightmare. It's a nice dream
now. Joan is alone in a niche. They talk. She tells him he has earned
his place in history. He says it happened only because she believed in
him. And as Charley goes to her, Joan kneels.
Mort Goode
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